Thinking “out loud”
I know I’ve mentioned that I love my doc. Let me tell you why. I had a doc that I liked a lot but he had to retire due to health issues. Poor guy, wasn’t that old. Anyway, I was forced to hunt down a new one.
The first one I tried was supposedly into combining Eastern and Western medicines. I’m all for that!! However, I was sitting in his waiting room for a follow up visit (my third, at $30 a pop for co-pay) when I witnessed three different people purchase the very same supplements–expensive supplements!– he had given me and told me were specific to my FMS. Two of these people were men walking in just to get more supplements–I know there are men out there with FMS but they are so few and far between that I can’t believe these two men both had it. The third was a new patient. I was also at just the right angle to see inside the supply cabinet. It was full of the three supplement I was “prescribed” and little else.
It became apparent to me that he was just in it for the supplement sales. I got my co-pay back, walked out before my appointment and went on the hunt again.
The second doc I tried was recommended to me by two people at work. I walked in and the minute the receptionist realized I was a new patient, she started touting the doc’s virtues. He was “just so wonderful.”
In my appointment, I explained my FMS diagnosis and why I was not on any meds for it. He didn’t listen. He sent me away with an order for blood work and a prescription for an anti-depressant, sleeping pills, muscle relaxers and pain pills.
I did go for the blood work but didn’t fill the prescriptions. I had to have the blood drawn in his office but not on that day. The nurse tried to talk me into the same freaking pills and when I called for the blood work results, the receptionist tried to talk me into them too. I told her that her precious doc prescribed those effing pills simply because they are standard for FMS and that he hadn’t bothered to listen to a word I said: I’d had them all when I was first diagnosed and they hadn’t done anything for me except make me feel doped up all day. My symptoms were not severe enough to need them. I told her I hoped she and her doc had a happy life together but that life would not include me as a patient, I was going to find someone how actually listened to me.
Then I pulled Dr. Z’s name out of the provider book. Third time is a charm I guess. Dr. Z listens to me, does not push drugs on me that I don’t need, is in fact happier the less drugs I need and is happy to work with me on things I want to try. The LDN is a great example. Dr. Z goes out of her way to help her patients and she doesn’t prescribe things just because she gets a kick-back from the drug company.
I don’t know why I just wrote all this down but I did, so here it will remain.
Outside Kittehs:
Mama and the Unnamed black one are still around. Mama is finally using the house occasionally and we have a radiant heater set up in the garage with a blanket next to it that we’ve found both of them sleeping on and different times. I wish Mama liked Unnamed, she is lonely without the others. I never have figured out what happened to them.
There is a new one we have spotted; a rather large all white one. This one has learned pretty quickly that our house is the house in the neighborhood. I found him/her in the garage yesterday. It’s still pretty scared of us and tried to run out when I came in but I was blocking the exit. I put food out and left whilst it was still in there. I hope it ate and settled back in. It’s currently 0º F with a wind chill of I don’t know how far below 0º….
Commies:
for my own records, they arrived this morning
Nothing much
Doc had me order two elbow braces in different styles to make sure as least one of them was comfortable/usable. They arrived yesterday. One is too small for sure and the other one was if-y. I took them in to Rehab the the therapist thinks the if-y one is probably too small. She measured again and she was right on target as far as what size the book said to order according to XXX inches. The one that is too small for sure won’t even slide all the way up into the right position.
I think they need to reevaluate their measurements.
Anyway, the therapist got with worker’s comp and got new ones ordered.
I’m not looking forward to going back to work.
Hair:
I’m tired of it.
Sitting:
It’s hard to get a chance to do with Sk8er Boi around so I didn’t do it all weekend.
I did sit yesterday for about 10 min. It was only 10 min because I started getting dizzy which made me feel nauseous. This is something that happened when I first started trying to do self-hypnosis. I emailed my instructor at the time and this is what she told me:
Some ideas for you to try:
- spend at least a week thanking yourself for everything you’ve allowed yourself to achieve. EVERYTHING! You can start your session with a body scan to relax and then move into your attitude of gratitude. No need to use visualizations or count backwards, etc. Just allow your body to relax and then start, “Kathryn, I’m so proud that you’ve taken this time for yourself. Thank you for doing that errand yesterday for your sister and the fact that you did it with an upbeat attitude was tremendous, etc.” Sometimes the best we can do is thank our self for getting out of bed and brushing our teeth. If that’s the case, then start there. You might want to take around 10-15 minutes with this each day.
- Once your ego realizes that you do understand the wonderful contributions it is making on your behalf and that you do appreciate it, you will probably find it easier to move on. The next step would be to ask your subconscious where it would like you to be instead of the beach. Again, give this a few days of repeatedly asking. There might not be a lot of trust going on between the different aspects of you and it will take time to earn it back, Right now, you have that time.
I guess I’m going to have to go back to step one again.
I’m trying, I really want to do this but I feel like I’m being blocked every step of the way!!!!!!!!!!
OK, I’m done ranting for now.
Commies:
Arrived late last night. My cycle seems to be running close to the 28-30 day mark lately.
Dangle kitties:
I’ll leave you with more pics of cat tree enjoyment
Blood Work Results
In the letter she says “PRE-menopausal” where as in her office she mentioned testing to see if I was “PERI-menopausal.” I think in her mind there is a difference but everything I can find considers them the same thing.
I did some research on what normal levels of LH and FSH should be and I’m in the normal range. As in NOT peri-menopausal. However, they should be closer to the same number. I found several references that said that a FSH level that is 2 to 3 times lower than the LH level is an indication of PCOS. Of the symptoms listed there I have 5 out of 7. I don’t have thinning hair on my scalp but I don’t know about the infertility because I never tried to get pregnant.
I found several sources (that were not trying to sell a product) that say insulin requires chromium to function properly. There is no chromium in my vitamins. I thought there were… I’m starting with a chromium supplement.
The Boys:
I’m really irritated with both of my boys. Oreo has now managed to get a hold of three pairs of my flip flops. The third pair I had taken off but thought I was keeping an eye on but the stealthy little 
managed to get them anyway. He also woke me up this morning by chewing on Sk8er Boi’s Tevas. I told him not to leave them out!
Then, also this morning, Sk8er Boi told me that he found Phoenix had weaseled his way into the office closet. This is our dump-all closet and the dog food, extra cat food are kept there along with things like my yoga mat and bricks.
Anyway, not only had Phoenix ripped a hole in the cat food bag and stuffed himself silly, he chewed on my yoga bricks!!!
Little kitteh bites:
Big kitteh bites:
What is their sudden obsession!!!
Commies:
arrived last night. Only two weeks tardy this time.
