Three Weeks on LDN
Most of my body aches are gone. I was having pain all down my neck and back, felt like I desperately needed to see Dr. B. I couldn’t afford it so I didn’t go. Now I could still use a visit but I don’t feel like everything is so far out of whack that I’m walking crooked.
Had a very bizarre dream sleeping on the couch last night. Sk8er Boi and I bought a house and were discovering all kinds of things that needed repaired or changed. For example, there was no window at all in the kitchen–there was a huge space for one, just no window.
There were stray cats everywhere; 20 or 30 of them in all kinds of strange colours. I remember purple ones with black leopard spots and ones that were navy, red and purple with black spots. Half of them were kittens and I wanted to keep them all!!!
Then there were all these neighbors having a party in our front yard and being very loud. Their kids were running around screaming and wearing costumes. I went out and said that this was my yard and to get out. They just laughed and went on partying.
Then Sk8er Boi asked me if I was happy and I said, “yes, why?” He replied, “because I don’t want any of this.” and went to bed. He meant me, the relationship, etc. I remember thinking that I would go spend the night at my mom and dad’s but then thought what’s the point, he won’t come after me anyway.
Then some weird guy whom I knew was some evil magical creature I needed to protect my house from showed up and we had a “battle” which consisted of flying across a long room that was empty except for unlit Christmas lights at each other.
Throughout the entire dream, I couldn’t speak (except for when Sk8er Boi asked me about my being happy). It was as if I had laryngitis; my mouth would move but no sound, or very little, came out.
It was just weird!!
Hair:
Lately I have been feeling like I just have too much hair. It’s in the way unless I have it up but there are only two way I can get it to stay up: a French braid or my messy knot bun. Thinking about cutting (yes, again) starting with mid-back but then I look at my profile pic and wonder if I would miss my length.
Maybe a hiatus from LHC would break that cycle, like Amoretti did. But then I would miss everyone’s blogs and I like keeping up with everyone’s lives and how they are doing.
Well, it’s only hair, it will grow back and my hair seems to grow faster than I thought. I’m already back to my pre-trim length from my last trim of 2.5″.
Houses:
I’m going to look into housing grants. Maybe enough just for a decent down-payment. More would be great but I don’t need more. Well, it would make going back to school easier if we didn’t have to worry about a house payment but there are people who could use more money more than me.
If anyone has any ideas about grant sites, I could use the help. I’ve looked and looked and all I can find are sites that want you to pay a monthly fee for their “assistance” which doesn’t consist of much but showing you were to look for available grants.
Work:
I have to work with The Boy’s GF tomorrow, just the two of us for four hours. I’m not looking forward to it.
She had to try to prove me wrong about a price in front of a customer the other day. It pissed me off but it doesn’t matter. If JP won’t do anything about the “firing offenses” she has committed, he would look at me like I was an idiot if I mentioned this.
I tell you what though, if she calls to say she is going to be late, I’m going to tell her not to bother showing up at all. I’ll work her shift and she can just be out the money. I don’t care if it pisses JP off.
Conversation between me and JP when AG and I worked day shift and The Boy and GF worked evening shift.
ME: I’m just wondering why it’s AG’s fault the cooler wasn’t done right when second shift is supposed to do it too.
JP: I expect more from you guys because you’re managers.
ME: if I’m a manager then so is [The Boy], he should have the same responsibilities as me.
JP: Yes, but AG is my assistant.
I left it alone from there. It doesn’t matter that AG could have stocked that cooler to the hilt, perfectly the was JP would have wanted it but customers bought it out and The Boy didn’t stock it or stock it well. To JP, it would be AG’s (an my) fault because The Boy can do no wrong.
I remembered what I wanted to say
It’s been over a week since I got more than 5 hours sleep ans some of those nights were disrupted by tossing, turning, waking and dosing rather than actually sleeping.
I’m so tired I fell asleep sitting up in a chair at Sk8er Boi’s co-worker’s house whilst co-worker, wife, DD, DD’s, BF, Sk8er Boi and B were all playing pool and wii. It was kinda loud and I fell asleep!! We got back at 2:00 AM and I was only able to sleep ’till 7:00!!! 
Today I work ’till 6:00 and then we have to go to my parents house and pick Sk8er Boi’s jeep up from the yard on the way home. I expect it will be another short night as I have to be back at work at 6:00 AM tomorrow.
The Girls and Christmas:
Sk8er Boi left our house at 2:15 AM Christmas day and arrived at the girls’ house at about 9:00 AM. He walked into J’s room and it took her three times of asking why Dad was there and being told to look out the window before she actually woke up enough to look. Sk8er Boi says she jumped at him and cried when she saw her car sitting there.
Apparently there’s been a lot of “you can’t go ____ because it’s my car,” from the BM!!! This is, J says, why she can’t find a job: every where she’s allowed to go with BM’s car is not hiring. However, the BGM confirmed what J is just being lazy about it. BGM says she sees “help wanted” signs all over and tells J about it but nothing ever comes of it…..
The UGG boots I scored off eBay for a ridiculously low price never arrived. They were won and paid for on 12/10 and the 
didn’t even generate a tracking number until 12/16 and according to the tracking number, they are still in Istanbul, Turkey. Now, in the US, you can go to numerous shipping sites and generate a tracking number without ever setting foot in a post office. But this tracking number says Foreign Arrival at Outward Office and Foreign Acceptance so I don’t know what to think. The tracking information hasn’t changed since the 16th.
Strange things about whole thing: A) The listing said the boots would be shipped DHL but the tracking number is USPS. When I went to look at the eBay listing to confirm the shipping method I discovered B) the seller has removed the listing. Not only that, C) the seller has also removed themselves as registered eBay members. 
Before you ask, I did email PTT (thank you melikai for the info) to inquire about the package status. I have not heard back. Also, I did pay through PayPal and have already filed a claim for my money back.
Anyway, that meant that Sk8er Boi and I were at the freaking mall on Christmas Eve buying UGG boots at full price!!!
There was more I was going to write but I’m tired and can’t remember. Plus, I need to go get ready for work….
Horrible dream
I don’t remember anything except the following morning when the two planned-visit members basically told me the didn’t like me. That they found my overall behavior to be very poor. Also reading one of their blogs where they were talking about the visit and talked about racial slurs that I had made along with all the other things I’d done.
Racial slurs 
??? Me????
Then the third member came out of her room and I was packing to leave. I was a total b!tch to her!!!
I’m not sure if I was a b!tch to her because I was upset about what the other two had said or because it was apparent that she felt the same way they did. I just know that I was horribly hurt and upset. I guess it was a defense mechanism.
The weird thing is that, in the dream, I knew they were right. I’d been a horrible host, said things I shouldn’t have–things I wouldn’t have IRL because they aren’t who I am.
I get the whole nobody-likes-me-everybody-hates-me thing is my insecurity monster rearing it’s ugly head. What I don’t get is why I would have acted the way I did that made them not like me. Again, it’s not who I am!!!
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The night before last I dreamt that Sk8er Boi and I finally got married. We hadn’t had a wedding, we’d had some tiny civil ceremony–just him, me and the justice of the piece.
I remember being deliriously happy that we were married but being disappointed about not having a wedding.
I remember reading long ago about Kelly Rippa’s marriage. They went to Vegas and nobody knew about it until later. She said they’d done it that way because it wasn’t the wedding that was important, it was the marriage.
I actually think about this a lot. Sk8er Boi doesn’t want a wedding; he’s done it already and only remembers feeling disappointed about it. Like they’d waisted a lot of time and effort for just a few minutes worth of wedding. Well, he is a man 
but he says the BM felt the same way.
I, OTOH, want a wedding. I’ve never been married, never had a wedding and, as selfish as it seems, I want one! And sometimes I feel guilty about that because I feel like Kelly Rippa is absolutely right: it’s the marriage that’s important.
The cost of the wedding is the main reason we haven’t gotten married yet. We’ve spent our entire relationship barely making ends meet. We rarely have extra and when we do, it usually goes to the girls or things we really need.
IDK, it’s something to think more about even though I’ve thought so much already that I’m thinking in circles.
Bizarre dream
That’s it, that’s all I remember.
Hair IRL is doing fine despite two trips in the pool. Wetting before hand and club soda seem to be doing the trick.
My silver roots are about 1 1/2 inches long and I need to henna but didn’t want to run around the house with goose poop–as Koala Kim calls it–when the girls are here. Especially not a strange (to me) teen-ager.
I think I’ll just do a root treatment this time. I have enough henna for one root treatment and one full henna. Then I’ll need to order some again.
J, B & SB:
They go home today, fly out about 7-ish.
Yesterday was fine except that 95% of what J said to B was snotty and rude. B annoys J but only because J is all about B’s business. If J would not concern herself with every little detail of what B does, she wouldn’t be annoyed.
J is still maintaining that she will never come to our house again when B is coming too. What that comes down to is, unless she changes her mind about that, J will not be coming back because B comes every chance she gets…..
After the landmark trip, they did go to Aunt Kim’s Which was nice because I got the afternoon to myself but, well, I didn’t think they needed to go. Now I’m told that she is dropping them off here today at about 1. I’m not happy!
Sk8er Boi: you don’t think they know where we live??
Me: Oh, I’m sure their nosy butts know. That does not mean they are welcome here.
I’m trying to think of an excuse to meet with her somewhere. If she come here, I’m sure she will expect to be invited in. That is simply not going to happen.
