@$$hat neighbor
Neighbor #1: I’ll call him Mr. SB because his last name is the same as Sk8er Boi’s first name. His house is on the intersecting street, I walk by it every time I walk to work. He is a sweet old man and we have become friends of a sort.
Mr. SB breeds Golden Retrievers, has done so for three years. He is licensed and that license has to be renewed yearly. This year it was renewed two months ago after an on-site inspection. Let me say that again, not because you are idiots but because I want to be very clear here. Whatever county/government agency that regulates such things came out to his house and inspected his facility with their own eyes and then approved the license renewal!
Neighbor #2: Calling him jerkface for obvious reasons. I could go on and on about why he is a jerkface but suffice it to say that nobody I have talked to in the neighborhood likes him. One corner of his back yard meets one corner of Mr. SB’s yard.
The story:
Three weeks ago, Mr. SB is in his yard with the dogs and heard jerkface and jerkface’s father talking about where to place his daughter’s jungle gym. He wants to put it in the corner that meets Mr. SB’s yard but doesn’t like the dogs barking at his daughter when she’s out playing.
Now, I can understand that. I wouldn’t like it either. However, I have been in jerkface’s backyard–caught Rajah there once when she got out. There is absolutely no reason why he could not place the jungle gym in the other corner; the back window and Arcadia door are visible from any point in the yard therefore the entire yard is visible from the back window and Arcadia door–not that they actually bother to keep an eye on daughter but that’s another story. The ground is level throughout and, because of foliage, the other corner is not visible from Mr. SB’s yard so the dogs would not see daughter therefore would not bark at her. Besides, the dogs are not out all the time. Mr. SB lets them out to do their business and run a bit and then takes them back inside.
But NOOOO!! Jerkface is a jerkface and insists on putting it where the dogs can see daughter. Mr. SB hears jerkface’s father say, “don’t worry about it, I’ll cell [friend's name] and he’ll take care of it.
One week later, Mr. SB is notified that is breeding license is being revoked because he does not have 2 acres of land for the dogs to run. 
He has 1.8 acres of land. He only breeds one litter at a time and sells all the puppies before breeding the other female. This has always been acceptable in the past.
Up to this point, jerkface has always just been an annoying neighbor. He had never done anything mean or spitefully. But this I find particularly despicable. Mr. SB needs that extra income because, well, we all know Social Security just doesn’t cut it on it’s own. And jerkface just had to put that f-ing jungle gym in that corner!!! Oh and people who manipulate the law to suite themselves and their friends. OMG I can’t even tell you how that pisses me off!!!!
Mr. SB moved himself and his breeding facility to Alabama. His son lives there so he’ll be OK but I have lost my friend.
Hair:
I hennaed last night. I did just a root application again mainly for money sake. If I’d done a full application, I’d have been totally out of henna. We are slightly behind on bills because, on workers comp, I was only getting about 80% of what I would have been making had I been working. Three months of that and it took its toll so we don’t have any extra to buy more henna right now.
Next time, though, I need to do a full head application. I noticed the root application I did last time did not render the nice dark red stain that Punjabi Prime did. I don’t know if that is because it is from the 2008 crop of Jamila, if it was just not the nice thick layer of henna a full head application is or if there is truth that, even though the PP packaging is exactly the same as Jamila packaging, there is a difference.
Anyway, I’m hoping the 150g I have left will be enough for a full head application. 200g usually gives me more than enough so I think I’ll be fine.
Sitting:
Still haven’t gone back to it. I need to.
Health:
Still haven’t called my doc to make that appointment. I think I’m afraid that I’ll find out that it’s not just situational but that I need them on a permanent basis. That would mean that I am incapable of coping without chemical help. That would mean that I’m not perfect. OK, OK, I know I’m not perfect but part of my problematic perfectionism is that I don’t like (read can’t stand totally drives me bonkers) to admit that I need help from anybody or anything.
*DISCLAIMER* I am NOT in any way shape or form suggesting that there is anything wrong with taking antidepressants. I’m saying that my perfectionistic tendencies f#*k with me in all kinds of unhealthy ways.
updates
I did go back to work on Thursday. I worked three days in a row, I have Sunday and Monday off and then I’ll have at least six days in a row. That was the only way to get me as many days on my first paycheck and keep me on the weekend schedule I was on so that I am working on the same weekends Sk8er Boi is on call.
My feet hurt and my back hurt and the days dragged on as if there were three hours to every one. I was welcomed back warmly by everyone from my coworkers to my customers. I was rudely reminded of customers whom I didn’t like by them showing up and immediately embarking on the behavior for which I decided I didn’t like them in the first place; all of them dirty old (or not so old) men crossing the line from harmless flirting to offensiveness.
Sk8er Boi saw a news snippet on a website that I’d not heard of yet. It’s called Emurse and there is all kinds of information on revamping resumes to get them noticed. I’ve been exploring it for a couple hours this morning and already found a couple of things wrong with mine. I’ll probably not really get too far into revamping my resumes until tomorrow when Sk8er Boi is at work and I can concentrate better.
Health:
I’ve decided that I probably do need some help in the anti-depressant/anti-anxiety department. I’ve noticed that I’m restless when I’m home alone. I can’t sit anywhere for long. I go watch TV and I keep thinking I want to go back to the computer but I get here and I’m bored here too.
But then I can’t get motivated to do anything else either. When I know I need to leave the house for something–groceries, etc.– I let myself be sloth-like get distracted and before I know it, if I don’t get a move on, I will be out when Sk8er Boi arrives home. That’s not to say that I am required to be home with dinner on the table like a good little wifey but it’s simply more efficient. I’m just saying.
And I started a craft project yesterday and got sick of it within about 30 minutes. It was a friendship bracelet idea and would normally take me about two hours to perfect the process for my idea and finish it but I just couldn’t do it….
I was thiiiiis close to cutting my hair when I had my “episode.” I had the scissors out and everything but was unable to get a hold of it in a way that I could get a straight cut so, after about 15 minutes of trying, I gave up. I would only have cut about three inches but it would have been enough to make my favorite knot bun thingy impossible.
The fact that I would have actually cut it if I could have gotten it straight tells me a lot about my state of mind.
Unfortunately, I’ll have to wait a week or two to get to my doc. Bills to be paid and all….
Skin:
I realized that I made it through PMS this cycle without a huge zit storm. I did have a few more than usual but they resolved quickly and were gone. I guess the derma e stuff is doing better than I thought.
I did order some of the stuff from Garden of Wisdom for lightening melasma. Yes, I indulged in retail therapy rather than going to the doc. If I had not spent that money, I could have gone for those anti-depressants tomorrow but I hadn’t decided I wanted to go until the day after the order was placed Oh well, it’s too late now.
Sitting:
Haven’t done it since it made me nauseous last week. I haven’t wanted to, I hate feeling like I’m going to throw up!
On the lighter side:
The feral kitties are getting less skittish around us. We got a bag of very inexpensive cat food and have been feeding them.
Yesterday morning, I let Rajah out and the kitty with the two babies (Mama) and one of the tuxedos with a spot under his nose (Charlie Chaplin) were out by the car we got for J. It’s parked inside the fence because it still needs tires and brakes and J still hasn’t gotten her license. Charlie was sitting on the car and Mama was underneath and Rajah walked right up to the car and sniffed around it. Normally the cats would have throw a fit and escaped over the fence but they just watched her calmly as you please. It was kinda funny.
Oh and Sk8er Boi got the power steering hose (a $65 part) replaced on my Jeep. What’s left is the window motor (a $195 part) and the radiator (a $175 part). Thankfully, Sk8er Boi is a motorhead and can do the work himself or it would be a lot longer before we would be able to get any of it fixed!!!
Nothing much
Doc had me order two elbow braces in different styles to make sure as least one of them was comfortable/usable. They arrived yesterday. One is too small for sure and the other one was if-y. I took them in to Rehab the the therapist thinks the if-y one is probably too small. She measured again and she was right on target as far as what size the book said to order according to XXX inches. The one that is too small for sure won’t even slide all the way up into the right position.
I think they need to reevaluate their measurements.
Anyway, the therapist got with worker’s comp and got new ones ordered.
I’m not looking forward to going back to work.
Hair:
I’m tired of it.
Sitting:
It’s hard to get a chance to do with Sk8er Boi around so I didn’t do it all weekend.
I did sit yesterday for about 10 min. It was only 10 min because I started getting dizzy which made me feel nauseous. This is something that happened when I first started trying to do self-hypnosis. I emailed my instructor at the time and this is what she told me:
Some ideas for you to try:
- spend at least a week thanking yourself for everything you’ve allowed yourself to achieve. EVERYTHING! You can start your session with a body scan to relax and then move into your attitude of gratitude. No need to use visualizations or count backwards, etc. Just allow your body to relax and then start, “Kathryn, I’m so proud that you’ve taken this time for yourself. Thank you for doing that errand yesterday for your sister and the fact that you did it with an upbeat attitude was tremendous, etc.” Sometimes the best we can do is thank our self for getting out of bed and brushing our teeth. If that’s the case, then start there. You might want to take around 10-15 minutes with this each day.
- Once your ego realizes that you do understand the wonderful contributions it is making on your behalf and that you do appreciate it, you will probably find it easier to move on. The next step would be to ask your subconscious where it would like you to be instead of the beach. Again, give this a few days of repeatedly asking. There might not be a lot of trust going on between the different aspects of you and it will take time to earn it back, Right now, you have that time.
I guess I’m going to have to go back to step one again.
I’m trying, I really want to do this but I feel like I’m being blocked every step of the way!!!!!!!!!!
OK, I’m done ranting for now.
Commies:
Arrived late last night. My cycle seems to be running close to the 28-30 day mark lately.
Dangle kitties:
I’ll leave you with more pics of cat tree enjoyment
Love/Hate relationship with computers
Thankfully, in an effort to increase storage space and help it fun faster, I got a zip drive not too long ago and had transfered a lot of my stuff to disks. However, I did lose all my music and 90% of that was downloaded from Limewire before I realized that Limewire was e-vil!! It wouldn’t surprise me if Limewire was at the root of all the problems I’ve been having lately.
Oh well, maybe the restore will solve my problems.
Oh, and by the way, my system was doing pretty good since I deleted Limewire until the other day. Then I tried to download XOBNI. First it told me I needed NET security attachment from Microsoft and automatically started to download that, completed that download but the XOBNI download stopped “responding” and then the entire system froze. I had to do a hard shut down. After turning it back on, I decided to used PC Tools to do a System Restore–this is not the same thing as what my computer did on it’s own. With PC Tool System Restore, it allows you to pick an earlier date and sets the computer back to that date only.
After that, the thing was still freezing at least twice a day and I’d have to do another hard shut down. Finally, after turning it back on, walking away to do something whilst it rebooted, I came back to find it doing a total system restore back to original manufacture settings from the day we bought it!!!
DO NOT TRY XOBNI!!! IT WILL F#*K YOUR ENTIRE SYSTEM UP!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aveda salon and a bad hair dream:
They’re putting a Aveda salon near me and have advertised for a receptionist. I’m considering applying. I was thinking about it as I went to sleep last night and wondered if my hair and the fact that I will not use Aveda products* would be a problem. As I drifted into alpha sleep, my mind went to what if I asked one of them to trim my hair for me. The first cut she made was at the back of my head and she’s cut it about chin length!!!! There was nothing I could after that but let her cut the rest of it that length!!!
*yes, they use all kinds of nice botanicals but the products still have parabens and some version of sulfates in them. Sulfates break my scalp out.
Sitting:
I forgot yesterday.
For the first time
First, because of desk/chair demotions and my compact body, I cannot sit in the ergonomically correct 90˚ angle position. My feet dangle but, in fact, I’ve never felt comfortable that way. I even had one anal retentive teacher in seventh grade who complained to my mother about the way I sat in class!!! Anyway, I’ve been sitting cross-legged which, not only smashes my feet from both sides but also makes them go to sleep!!! I decided I needed a footstool. I’ve got a make-shift one right now but I need a real one.
Second, I noticed that, not only my arches but my Achilles tendons were hurting when I would get out of bed or get up from sitting down for a while. I realize now what this thing is for. Never, in all the time I’ve had Plantar Fasciitis has stretching my Achilles tendons helped. Nor have I ever before experienced pain in them. So, I’m been making an effort to stretch them several times a day.
Sitting:
I didn’t remember yesterday but I did remember today. Today was kind the kind of experience I’m use to. My mind was going in a million different directions and nothing I saw made much sense. Plus, I kept drifting off to sleep.
This is why it’s difficult for me to do it at all. I know I just need to keep plugging away at it but…perfectionism sucks!!!
I remembered
I started out with the conscious thought of letting my mind lead me to what I needed to know. I envisioned a much younger self taking my now self and leading the way. She took off running and, of course, I stumbled and fell flat on my face.
I realized I was trying too hard and so I just sat there. Not too long later, I found myself in a circular room with doors all around. Each door was marked with and attribute I need or would like to develop or improve on like self acceptance, self love, psychic abilities….
Out of each door walk a woman in turn and embraced me. Then some metaphysical tornado thing happened and we all merged into one person–me. Then I sloughed off the “old” me like it was a heavy coat and walked out of the room.
The end
Skin:
I’m seeing some results from the derma e products. Not bad, I guess, but what I’ve discovered is that I have terribly mottled skin colour, especially my upper lip making me look like I have a mustache. I’m sure it’s from the summers I spent practically living in an outdoor pool when sunscreen was virtually unheard of.
I could cover it up but I have, from the time I got interested in make-up, despised base/foundation. I can’t stand how it felt on my face, like I was wearing spackle–and no, I wasn’t applying it too thick thankyouverymuch 
. I know there are better options out there now but I can’t bring myself to try them. The last time I tried something new, it was mineral/powder and it sunk into even the slightest crease I had!! I know, I know, I either had poor quality (I don’t even remember the brand now) of simply need more practice in applying it but I got irritated and threw it away.
As mentioned, I’ve been surfing Garden of Wisdom and they have a couple of “lightening” products I think I’m going to try. They’ve gotten good reviews.
My Emu/Helichrysum oil mixture:
I have grossly thick calluses all around the outside of my heels, have had for as long as I can remember caring about what my feet looked like. I’m talking thick. I have one of those pedicure callus shavers and I could take off a good 1/4 before I got down to non-callused skin. I don’t take that much off but I could.
Well, I massage my oil mixture all over the bottom of my foot not just the arches and, I don’t know what it’s doing for the Plantar Fasciitis but it’s actually softening those calluses up!!! Nothing–and I mean nothing, no lotion, cream, chemical sloughing gel, sleeping in those socks made to help soften feet (including the ones with gel heels) and slathered in copious amounts of cream–has ever done what this stuff is doing. I have had to shave and file them for as long as I can remember. But now…well, they’re not gone but the aren’t getting rough and catching on things like sheets and sock!!! 
